Post by dcubed on Nov 3, 2008 2:32:02 GMT -5
Here it is again. Sunday night but with daylight savings kicking in over the weekend. Waking up a bit later but with less sleep if you did not kick back the clock last night and get more used to it already. A few more jokes to make the Monday morning go along a little less stressfull. ;D ;D
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
...................................................................................................
Poor Mrs. O'Leery!!
Mrs. O'Leery - whose husband Paddy worked the midnight shift at the brewery - woke one night at 2:00am to the sound of somebody knocking on her door.
She pulled on her robe, went to the door, and opened it to the brewery supervisor standing there with his hat in his hand.
"Mrs. O'Leery", he said, "tis terrible news I have about your husband Paddy. He has fallen into a vat of beer at the brewery and drowned."
Gasping at the news, Mrs. O'Leery exclaimed, "Oh, God rest his soul I hope he didn't suffer."
"No", said the supervisor, "we don't think he did - he got out three times to pee."
......................................................................................................
The Walmart Greeter
A very loud, unattractive, mean woman walked into Walmart
with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.
The Walmart greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. Oldest one's nine and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind or stupid," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone made love to you twice."
Have a great week all. ;D
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
...................................................................................................
Poor Mrs. O'Leery!!
Mrs. O'Leery - whose husband Paddy worked the midnight shift at the brewery - woke one night at 2:00am to the sound of somebody knocking on her door.
She pulled on her robe, went to the door, and opened it to the brewery supervisor standing there with his hat in his hand.
"Mrs. O'Leery", he said, "tis terrible news I have about your husband Paddy. He has fallen into a vat of beer at the brewery and drowned."
Gasping at the news, Mrs. O'Leery exclaimed, "Oh, God rest his soul I hope he didn't suffer."
"No", said the supervisor, "we don't think he did - he got out three times to pee."
......................................................................................................
The Walmart Greeter
A very loud, unattractive, mean woman walked into Walmart
with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.
The Walmart greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. Oldest one's nine and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind or stupid," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone made love to you twice."
Have a great week all. ;D